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DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW


Yes, I know, I have seen it in your face. The expression gives it away more especially when you try very hard to hide it. The tone of your voice, as suttle as you make it to be, always gives it away.

Why though?
Have I given you a reason to?


The only failure that I ever displayed was that which I had nothing to do with.
Maybe it is that which has escalated your disbelief that I can do it.
Maybe you believe that the darkness that I live in is a prohibitor for me to reach my highest potential?
Have you been programmed like the rest of them that light is what propels someone to achieve what ever they put their mind to?


Yes I compare you to the rest of them, because you are no different to them.
I have no problem when ‘they’ assume I can’t, but you?
you know me, you spend time with me, you interact with me.

Can’t you see I can?

Have you taken time to try and look beyond the impairment and see the potential that I still possess?
If you did, maybe I wouldn’t have to work my fingers to the bone as I do now, just to prove a point, but even more to prove you wrong.


Why must I be subjected to that though?
What did I do to now have to prove in everything I do that I can?
Is it not being a victim of a circumstance enough for this lifetime?


I heard them say with a loud voice “no” not in this industry, from now on you have to work twice as much as you did then, and put double as much effort as you would if you were part of them out there.


There had been here for longer than I have, some had been here all their lives. They knew what they were talking about.

I could understand what they meant, but I still had an unanswered question.
Why you in particular would now doubt my capabilities?
It was not my intellect that was affected, don’t you remember?
I could understand when it was those once out there, but when it’s one of your own that have this doubting mechanism towards you, how defeating that is.
I have put myself under so much pressure to perform, just to prove you wrong.
I have geared my actions in to being a contradiction to your belief that I can’t, but no more.


This is where I put a stop to it, I refuse to live my life with so much weight.
From now I run my race with a pace that is not governed by your perception of me. Frankly, whether you believe in me or not that is of no significance anymore, but let it be known by you and everyone that I CAN.
The testament of my confession is the steps I take each and everyday.


Thieves can try to hijack your potential by incapacitating you in an area that they assume will be detrimental to your success. Failure to acknowledge that what you came out with in your mother’s womb, folded in your fragile but strong fist can never be snatched by any predicament.

I can hear them cry with a loud voice at the end of their lives, the cry has the same melody. As if they had been incasarated in the same prison.

The cry is not over the darkness that they were living in, or the mistreatment that the endured all their lives but it’s the unfolded potential that they know they possessed that was never realised, because they believed what they were told, and rehearsed the words ‘I can’t’ over and over. Here I stand at the crossroads of my life, going back with what I had to offer the world simply because you said I can’t.


What an injustice.
where is that august generation that will give their own who live with an impairment the belief that they so need to release what they have?
When will they stop being the voice of doubt and become the wind beneath their wings?
Let my inner most being be flooded with an echo of my own cheering me on regardless of my impairment.

Signed:

The impaired believer


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